He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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