i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I will pee on everything he values.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize