I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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