Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she told me i tasted like america
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
