I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
