Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
