this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
