The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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