The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
