This girl is more easily done than said...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
ttyl tear gas
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize