You work out of a Hotel?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
