Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
