dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
