I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In America we eat man semen.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
