I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
