bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
