VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
