Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
