More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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