Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
