Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize