Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
