i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
