She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We're not piercing ourselves today.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
