question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
