found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Randomize
