...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize