not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
