He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
