Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
