He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I believe in your delicious
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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