I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
