Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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