Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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