Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
