Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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