i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize