omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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