God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
