My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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