you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
