why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
