Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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