whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
did you just send me my own nude
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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