508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
