im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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