I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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