who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
