we made out on top of his cat.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
