marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
