Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
