I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
