But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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