i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize