I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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