She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
