My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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