some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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