You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pants 0. Shit 1.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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