I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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