Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
