ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
