All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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