I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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