I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
