I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize