I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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